I never knew what a narcissist was until a year after he left me. I stumbled across a book describing narcissistic behavior and it was like someone had written a book on my last four years of marriage. How could someone possibly know what I went through? How were all of the things being described actually what happened in my life? I’m pretty sure I was shocked working at the bookstore that day. However, before I get too far into the path of narcissism, I probably should start telling you a little bit of background about my situation. This takes me way back to explaining to you why I would ever put myself in a situation with a man like this for so long a time. I’ve always been a woman who has thought less of herself. It seemed like all of my friends growing up had a boyfriend or girlfriend, but I was always the single one. Not my choice might I add! So you can imagine my confidence in myself was always tanked at a young age. And honestly what woman isn’t getting herself wrapped up in the stupid fairytale that one day you will find your prince charming and live happily ever after. Get real!!! That can stay in the movies because we know love isn’t easy like that ever. So I would have days when I would question the woman I was and why I was never good enough for any guy.
Eventually, I dated a couple guys. One of which was my first love who ripped my heart out and stomped on it when he dumped me. I was devastated and learned very quickly that others had persuaded him to dump me. Why these women even cared about my love life, I still don’t understand. Women can just be down right mean. Also, why in the world was I dating a guy who could be persuaded to leave me. Hello younger me, how dumb can you be!?
You’re probably wondering what this backstory has to do with what would happen in my future relationship. Well it turns out that guy that ripped my heart out was best friends with this other guy who I ended up dating, marrying and divorcing. There’s your crazy connections. And of course all it took was a couple cheesy text from this guy and darn I was hooked. I guess this is the point where I tell you the mystery guy's name. Well , for privacy, and the fact that I am hiding my name on this, we will call him Jules. (Oh how I love Julian Edelman, but that's beside the point. It makes for a great name to use!) Jules was the kind of guy who could sweet talk any girl. And my lacking confidence became his perfect target. Of course at the time I thought this was the beginning of my fairytale. Finally my prayers had been answered in college, haha wrong! Looking back on it now, I’m not sure why I was drawn to Jules. Maybe it was because he had all the right words to say? Maybe at the time it was all the things I was hoping a man would say to me one day? All I know now is that those texts became the very beginning of a relationship boulevard gone wrong. This is my point where I tell you the reader to be careful with the guys and girls who are the sweet talkers. Keep an eye on them for a while. Hopefully, the man or woman who is doing this continues and doesn’t change and honey, if you found a man like that he is a keeper! But if he changes his tune, and the sweet talk slowly begins to change overtime beware, there may be a hidden agenda yet to be found. And in my case this was only the beginning.
Again, this is where I advise you to hold onto your hats and buckle your seatbelts because my roller coaster of a life begins here and I have so many details to share as you continue to read.
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